The Character Talk Show--Viggo and Darian Steele

Me: Welcome back to the CTS! Today, we'll be talking with Viggo and Darian Steele! I hope this will be fairly normal today; no swordfights, alien invasions, or switchblades. So, let's give Viggo and Darian a big welcome!

*applause*

Me: Right! So, how are you two today?

Viggo: Fine, I guess...we weren't expecting to be put on a talk show today, I must admit.

Darian: *is silent*

Me: Of course you weren't. None of the characters ever are--

Random Voice in the Audience: That's 'cause it's always last-minute, you moron!

Me: *facepalm* Flash, how come I can't keep you out of here? I told the security--Will somebody please take Flash out of here?

*Flash is taken out of the audience by the security and thrown outside*

Me: ANYWAY. So, how are you, Darian?

Darian: *is silent*

Me: Um...

Viggo: He doesn't like big crowds, and he's technically very quiet.

Me: Oh, yeah. I forgot.

Darian: *shoves his hands in his pockets*

Me: So, what was the hardest mission you've ever done?

Viggo: Me? Well, I guess I'd have to say...when I was trying to find the lost world of Uluru. That mission involved a lot of riddles and secret societies and what-not.

Me: Explain what Uluru is for the audience, please?

Viggo: Well, it's...it's two things, actually. It's a large boulder in Australia, which was supposedly formed by a sandhill which was inhabited by a tribe of snake-people known as the Kunia. That took place near the end of the Australian Dreamtime. Uluru is now a world. Kind of like a rift in time. If you find that rift, you can go back to the Dreamtime. It's sort of like going back in time.

Me: Ahhh, okay. *nod* Was anyone with you on that mission?

Viggo: Yeah...Darian was, as well as Ian Asher. And of course Aelfcynn and Rowan.

Me: Of course...but I thought you didn't like Ian.

Viggo: Um...I'm okay with him. We get on all right. It's Darian who can't stand Ian.

Darian: *scowls*

Me: Why not, Darian? If Viggo can get along with him, why can't you?

Darian: Because Ian's a selfish and annoying jerk who would sell his own mother for twenty bucks, and--

Me: Okay, let's just, um...break you off there, Darian. You never know whether Ian's watching this or not.

Darian: Yeah, but he knows what I think of him.

Viggo: Eh, don't worry, Jack. More than likely Ian won't care. He doesn't get angry easily. Usually only when he loses a fight or something similar.

Me: If you say so...

Darian: Can I leave now?

Me: *sigh* Fine. We may as well end the show here, before Flash tries to get back in here.

Viggo: Right. Thanks for having us, Jack.

Me: Thank you for coming!

*Viggo and Darian leave*

Me: *ends the show*

*applause*